I am a mom, have a PhD in Psychology, have completed the year-long Compassionate Inquiry training with Dr. Gabor Maté, and am the founder of growing up connected.

When I became a parent, I knew I wanted to parent differently than I was parented. I had a deep understanding of children’s needs and how to meet them. By the letter I had it right. But in reality, my own pain often got in the way. Even though it was difficult, I came to see that it was usually me, my own inner state, that has led to my children's distress and misbehavior. Truly opening my eyes to this, with compassion and acceptance, has allowed me to heal and show up differently.

And my children as well as myself are so much happier, we have few emotional outbursts, they willingly cooperate, are kind, joyful, considerate, competent and confident.

When we look to more traditional societies today and to hunter gatherers in the past (which is how we lived for most of human history), we see that most of the issues we view as normal, such as children’s reluctance to sleep, to eat healthfully, constant meltdowns or resistance to cooperate, share, or jealousy amongst siblings, are completely absent. Children are the kindest, most cooperative, confident, competent, and happiest anyone could imagine. And their parents aren’t stressed – they are joyous and light-hearted themselves, free from pain that causes them to be full of worry.

We can get back to this way of living, and I believe this is the purpose of today’s generations.

Today, conventional parenting uses reward and punishment to shape children's behavior. This is humiliating and painful for children, and ultimately leads to disconnection from both their parents and also their own intuition.

A more compassionate alternative is gentle parenting which largely focuses on accepting and validating children's emotions. But it is very often us (because of our own trauma) causing those emotions and more often than not we are completely unaware of it. And so this approach, too, can lead to disconnection and the passing down of intergenerational trauma.

There is a different way. One that compassionately looks at the truth: That our children's misbehavior and emotional outbursts are largely caused by our own inner state.

I guide parents on a transformative journey by helping them:

1. Gain a deep understanding of children’s evolved needs.

2. Recognize how unmet needs in their own childhoods have impacted them and influence their parenting today.

3. Heal themselves to parent from a place of connection and love.

I believe every parent and caregiver has the potential to heal their own trauma and pain, reconnect to their hearts, and parent in a way that ensures their children never lose their innate connection to themselves. My vision is to help families break free from cycles of intergenerational trauma, creating homes filled with love, peace, and joy.

When we face and learn to love our own fears and pain and

reconnect to our heart and ourselves, we parent from a place of deep connection with our children.

It is my goal to help as many families as possible to grow up connected to live together full of love, peace, and joy, and help create a world in which we all feel the connection that we share. I hope you join me on this journey.

With love,

Anita