Parenting from the heart.
Helping parents understand how nature has shaped children and reconnect with their intuition
Here now: The growing up without punishment course on respectful discipline. For parents who want to do it differently.
Hi, I’m Anita.
I’m a mom, have a PhD in Psychology, and am the founder of growing up connected.
Many parents face two challenges: Their children’s (mis-) behavior and their own inability to remain calm.
Do you often wonder how to end power struggles with your child and get more cooperation? Do you feel overwhelmed, frustrated, or alone, and end up yelling, bribing, punishing or hiding your anger or anxiety, and then regret or feel guilty?
You are not alone. This is the reality of most parents in the modern world.
It is perfectly normal… but only in the world we live.
It is a normal response to abnormal (by which I mean unnatural) circumstances!
When we look at hunter gather groups, which is how all humans lived for over 95% of human history, we see a very different picture:
There are no power struggles. Children are well-behaved, kind, confident, independent, and happy. They share, help, sleep voluntarily when tired, and express their emotions healthily.
Adults are calm and compassionate. They know how to parent in a natural way. And they have a lifestyle that supports calmness: they have strong social bonds, support, freedom to be oneself, and mixed-age play groups for children.
And our family life can look a lot more like that of hunter gatherers: full of ease, joy, connection, freedom, and love, even in the modern world!
To get there, I believe two things are necessary:
One, we need to understand children’s evolved needs, why they are important, and how to meet them in the modern world while also meeting our own needs.
And two, we need to understand how our own childhood and unmet needs have shaped us and how we can heal and grow from them.
When we do these two things, we can have a happier, healthier family life that aligns with our true nature.
It is not an easy or quick journey, but being on this journey myself I can say it is worth it. It has changed my life and my relationships with my child, my husband, others, the planet, and myself.
I believe that meeting children’s needs is the key to a more peaceful, sustainable, and sane world where parenthood is joyful and easy, with strong communities and people who are free to be themselves. I want to help as many parents and caretakers as I can with this goal.
I offer online courses, group coaching, 1:1 coaching, and guest talks as well as many free resources. Check out the growing up connected website or get in touch.
With love,
Anita
“Children, after all, are not just adults-in-the-making. They are people whose current needs and rights and experiences must be taken seriously.”
— Alfie Kohn